Bareback Ride

I don't know why but today I was desperate to get away. I wanted to be anywhere but here, I was thinking of packing up the car and going for a day trip somewhere maybe a small near by town, someplace where I could wander around pointlessly, or hike into the back country.
  Instead I went out to the horse. Twilight was a fidgety mess, dancing away from me, spooking at little wind flurries. Refusing to stand still.
I felt tired, almost sick with a longing to just feel a release from the tight metal cord knotted in my gut. I saddled up and we rode and rode, in the arena of course, even though I could look out and see the trail, see a potential escape. There was not a cloud in the sky, and the wind was keeping the temperature cool. But to go out alone was suicide, and there was no one around to go with me.
The entire ride was I fight, me in the saddle, sinking into the hot faux leather, milking the reins, Twilight pulling the bit and over reacting to everything. We were mechanical, jerky, irritated and simply not enjoying ourselves. Even cantering, which usually gives me so much pleasure was a strain, fighting for control, for the perfect showman look, trying to wrestle into perfection.
Finally I had it, something in my mind just snapped and a voice in my head started to yell at me By god, your 18, your going into college. What the Hell are you doing? Not having fun riding with a saddle and spurs and working your horse today? Well its Summer isn't it?! Can't have a little fun? Little miss ridged. Whose rules are you following? Your in charge idiot. If you want to do something fun change things up a bit!!!!

So I rode Twilight back to the trailer, dumped the spurs and English saddle and threw on the bareback pad. I went back to the arena. Of course now Kade one of the showman instructors was there, a master of perfect show riding, but I realized I really didn't care. I asked for the canter, and Twilight leaped into it, at first it was not collected, we were all over the place, taking turns to tight, dropping shoulders. But then we leveled out, and I felt like I was laughing inside. I could feel Twilight moving under me, the glorious three beat canter rocking my body, and Twilight not fighting me for the bit but a connection between my hands and her mouth that kept us both in check. She was going faster than was proper, but I wasn't really going for showmanship, the English saddle was gone, so primeness could go out the window with it.  We were riding to have fun.
Around and around we cantered, and I began to have the feeling of freedom that I use to have on the trail. It felt great. I felt connected to my horse, I felt reconnected to myself.
The day just improved, an older man with a steel brown head of hair and beard, who sounded like Jeff Bridges as Marshal Rooster Cogburn from True Grit came out to give his two grandson's rides on his round Kiger mustang mare.
I caught Bob the fat goat sleeping under the trailer.
I laughed as Twilight discovered her reflection on the side of the metal trailer next to us, watched her flick her tail bemused at the creature cocking its head back at her.
When I gave Twilight her bath, she flicked her wet tail at me and sprayed me with a pleasant shower of cold water droplets. 
Sometimes the easiest way to unwind is to strip away the complex things and get down to the purpose, what matters, just take away the show and technicalities and go for a bareback ride.