Twilight changed 9/11 for me. I remember when I was talking to Gretchen about purchasing Twilight, I'd asked about Twilight's history, I wanted to know all I could about her past. I was leaning against the stacks of alfalfa in the barn, the twigs of grass pressing through my shirt, when Gretchen told me that Twilight had been owned by a 9/11 victim. But somehow in all the turmoil that followed between Gretchen and I after that discussion I forgot this detail.
It wasn't till years later when I gained the courage and gut to tracked down the dentist and inquire further about Twilight's past that I was reminded, he told me that the woman he purchased Twilight from had gotten her from the family of the victim.
It hit home that time, I had a connection to the event. Out of the 3,000 people who where killed there was one girl or woman who owned my future horse, had loved Twilight, probably seen Twilight's birth, or owned her since birth since Twilight would have been one year old when she died. That one person never got the chance to ride her horse, and that is heart wrenching for me to contemplate.
I imagine how different my life, Twilight's life may have been had September 11th not occurred, its possible I would not own Twilight, she could still be with her first owner, she could of never gone through the neglect under the dentist care.
I am grateful though, to own Twilight, I am honored to have a connection to 9/11 that made the event more than just a tragedy in a snow globe, but something real that I could feel, a fiber connecting me to the event.
I went out to the barn today, to ride Twilight to remember how fortunate I am to have her, to remember how much she has changed and affected my life. It was beautiful at the barn, I don't know that I can accurately describe how perfect it was, but I can show pictures.
There was a storm gathering in the north east, and it caused a wind to come sweeping through the heat and give us all a chance to breath. It smelled like rain and sagebrush. The occasional speckle of rain would drop on my cheek, it felt like a kiss. Because of the grey in the sky, the fields around the barn were swollen with color, the brush was a brilliant hue of green that glowed as if sunlight was snared in the branches. The grass was golden and wove and tangled with the wind.
I went out into Twilight's pasture and brought her in just as she finished dinner, I wrapped my arm around her thick neck and enjoyed the solidness of the touch, the warmth of her sleek fur. She did not back away from my touch. I lunged her in the square arena, something we had not done for a while. I chased her in the wind and she took the challenge with easy, breaking into a hard pounding run just for the sheer wildness of it.
After we ran around for a while I groomed her and we both enjoyed it, there was no rush, the breeze kept us cool. I rode in a western saddle and later bareback, I ignored the technical aspects of riding, I just took pleasure in the ride, as did Twilight. We galloped in the square arena with the wind howling at us, and trotted together in a slow relaxed rhythm. With the beauty of the world around us, at that moment I almost felt like we were riding in some version of heaven, and maybe we were.
