I finally remembered the reason why I even got on to post today. I had a dream about Sarah last night. (Not my cousin Sarah, or my good friend Sarah but my old riding partner Sarah ((I think I know to many Sarahs))) We were riding in an arena on random horses, and I don't remember much else, but it made me realize how long I've been holding on to memories from those days, I still miss Gretchen. I still expect to turn around on day and see her with her dark hazel skin and wild white gray curls under a life is good cap. And give her a huge.
I want to go back into her house filled with dust and saddle blankets, hawk feathers, Indian pottery, and antlers and eat a messy crunchy peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I want to bring her lilies again, our favorite flower. Mr. Kallas Sarah's father and Gretchen's semi-boss is advertising for a new riding instructor, which makes me worry. Does that mean that Gretchen is not employed with him any more? Is she hurt? Is she leaving? Where is she going? What of Navarre, Mark, Adam, and Mateo?
I still look at Craigslist on occasion, I look for Mateo. Any reference to a half Andalusian I check.I still dream of owning Twilight's son, how ever unlikely and impossible it may seem.
I could call the Kallas family I could find their number and check up on Gretchen, or try to. But I'm a coward, I'm 18 (technically I'm independent an "adult") and my parents told me not to call and I listened, its my excuse and a lame one at that.
So what do you want me to do Subconscious? What are you trying to say? Because I don't have a clue. . .that's my excuse anyway.
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